Kiwanis Club of Paris

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. 

William Ellery Channing

Between believing a thing and thinking you know is only a small step and quickly taken.

– Mark Twain

Please sign up for the Steak Fry on Oct. 17 @ VFW

We wish a quick recovery to Duffy after catching pneumonia flipping pancakes.  We sent a very nice bouquet with 3 roses and a pancake spatula, wishing him a speedy recovery.

Happy Birthday
* Dennis Adams - Oct 12

Matthew 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe.
– Chuang Tzu

No program today, just a round table.

“This little computer,” said the a sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.”
The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; “Fine, I’ take two.”

Psalm 70:4 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified.

I throw myself down in my chamber, and I call in, and invite God and his Angels thither, and when they are there, I neglect God and his Angels for the noise of a fly, for the rattling of a coach, for the whining of a door.
- John Donne

Great job Greg W. on the Steak Fry!

For confidentiality reasons, we have been requested to use the East "Cafe France" entrance to the building.  Please respect the privacy of HRC's clients and use the East entrance.

Honeybee festival is looking to make some major changes in the near future.  If you have any ideas towards the new changes or comments about consolidating the pancake and bee hive tents, please see Blaze or Augie for info on the next meeting.

Ron Bouslog, Early Risers President, has issued a challenge to the noon club.  The first club to enroll 3 new members this year will buy dinner for the loser.  Lets get started!

Happy Birthday belated to Chuck Shirar (Oct. 17)

After a bitter marketing war, in which prices were continually being undercut, Birdseye and the Green Giant got together to settle their differences at a Peas Conference.

Psalm 119:131 I opened my mouth, and panted: for I longed for thy commandments.

 I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
– John Cleese

For confidentiality reasons, we have been requested to use the East "Cafe France" entrance to the building.  Please respect the privacy of HRC's clients and use the East entrance.

First Honeybee meeting Friday Nov. 10 @ Noon @ Tuscany!
Welcome Augie Griffin as our new "fill-in" board member, taking the place of Tammie Pride through 2007!

Be sure to vote today!

Mother: "I'm afraid our son has decided to take up acting."
Father: "What's so bad about that?"
Mother: "Well, he's gotten so big that whenever he appears in a play, he crashes right through the floor."
Father: "Don't worry about it. It's a stage he's going through..."

Matthew 6:20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal

It takes faith to believe, and it takes courage not to, and who is to say which is the deeper and more truthful.
– Herbert Weisinger

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. “So, did you enjoy the film?”
The goat replied, “To tell you the truth, I liked the book better.”

Ezekiel 34:16 I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment.

To us also, through every star, through every blade of grass, is not God made visible if we will open our minds and our eyes. -Thomas Carlyle

In the final analysis, the questions of why bad things happen to good people transmutes itself into some very different questions, no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it happened. – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

If you work at any events outside of a regular Kiwanis meeting, please see Blaze Lewis so he can get you make-up attendance for it and record the service hours.


***Everybody have a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the time off with your friends and family.***

The United States is the only country where housewife hires a woman to do her cleaning so she can do volunteer work at the day care where the cleaning woman leaves her child.

Malachi 4:4 Remember ye the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments.

We may affirm absolutely that nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion. - Georg Hegel

Holiday in the Park Schedule
--------------------------------------
12-17 (5-7p) Katie Lund
12-18 (5-7p) Dale R.  (7-9p) Logan Hamilton
12-19 (5-7p) John C. | Richard Y.
12-20 (7-9p) Blaze L. | Linda L. | Dennis T.
12-21 (5-7p) Honeybee Queen (7-9p) Augie G.

See Ken H. for information about Bell Ringing Schedules.

Congratulations to Dennis Adams who accepted the newly created position of Director of Foundation Development at the Paris Community Hospital.

Board Meeting on Friday.

The comments of a young mother: Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories.

1 Timothy 6:17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy

It is, unfortunately, only too clear that if the individual is not truly regenerated in spirit, society cannot be either, for society is the sum total of individuals in need of redemption. - Carl Jung

Holiday in the Park Schedule
--------------------------------------
12-17 (5-7p) Katie Lund
12-18 (5-7p) Dale R.  (7-9p) Logan Hamilton
12-19 (5-7p) John C. | Richard Y.
12-20 (7-9p) Blaze L. | Linda L. | Dennis T.
12-21 (5-7p) Honeybee Queen (7-9p) Augie G.

See Ken H. for information about Bell Ringing Schedules.

A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and says, "No, I think that is snow." He looks at her and says, "Rudolph the red knows rain dear."

Luke 4:12 And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

A new scientific truth does not establish itself by its enemies being convinced and expressing their change of opinion, but rather by its enemies gradually dying out and the younger generation being taught the truth from the beginning. – Max Planck

Please contact Logan Hamilton for program information.  He will be filling in the web-site, so the Chairman of the month, needs to let him know ASAP.  ctpvinyl@mac.com (218.2121)

The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.” The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.” The man replied, “I know, but our neighbors did.”

Say not, "I have found the path of the soul"
Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

-- Albert Einstein

Congratulations to  Mr/Mrs. Dale Boyer and their little girl, Ava Renee.  Ava was born
6lb 13oz, 19" long with dark hair. She was born January 26, 2007!

Welcome to our newest member Joe Bell!

A polar bear walks into a restaurant.  The waitress say what can I get you.  To which the polar bear replies..................."A Coke"   The waitress replies "Of course but what's with the big pause?"  (PAWS)

-Courtesy of Garrison Keilor

Proverbs 28:27 He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hideth his eyes shall have many a curse.

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.-- Mogens Jallberg

Q: What did one English book say to the math book?
A: You have way too many problems

"Who should not revere you, O King of the nations? This is your due. Among all the wise men of the nations and in all their kingdoms, there is no one like you."
— Jeremiah 10:7

Intuition is the conception of an attentive mind, so clear, so distinct, and so effortless that we cannot doubt what we have so conceived.
– René Descartes

Steak fry is next week, see you there.  See Dennis for Sign-up.

10/21/2008 12:00 PM Dennis Thiel Round Table Kiwanis Club
10/21/2008 05:30 PM Dennis Thiel Steak Fry Dennis Thiel
10/28/2008 12:00 PM Linda Taber - Director Oak Manor Linda Lane

Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive- in?
He went and saw closed for the winter!

Politicians are like Pro Wrestlers. They play characters that pretend to hate each other but in the end they sit around the locker room together laughing at the people who believe it's all real. ~ Daelan

We will meet for pancakes at the KC Hall.

Board Members: Joe Bell
Dianna Bennett
John Carrington
Blaze Lewis
Bruce Young
Don McGee
Dene Rigdon
Tammie Pride
Jill Higginbotham
Linda Lane
Dennis Thiel

[Jesus said] "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."— Mark 11:25

I throw myself down in my chamber, and I call in, and invite God and his Angels thither, and when they are there, I neglect God and his Angels for the noise of a fly, for the rattling of a coach, for the whining of a door. - John Donne

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOM!  We appreciate everything you have done for this club!  We wish you many more!

The old accountant retired after forty years, and on the top drawer of his desk they found a note that said: “debits in the columns toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window.”

1 John 3:17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

 Those who enter the gate of heaven are not beings who have no passions, or who have curbed the passions, but those who have cultivated an understanding of them. – William Blake 

Bell Ringers!
8:00 9:00 LORRAINE BAILEY/FRED KRECKMAN
9:00 10:00 DALE RASMUSSEN/JOHN CARRINGTON
10:00 11:00 AUGIE GRIFFIN/BILL BROWN
11:00 12:00 JOHN WRIGHT/HARRY HUGHES
12:00 1:00 GENE RIGDON/AUSTIN MASON
1:00 2:00 DIANNA BENNETT/JASMINE BENNETT
2:00 3:00 DENNIS THIEL/BRUCE YOUNG
3:00 4:00 RICHARD YATES/JOE BELL
4:00 5:00 KATIE JOHNSON

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, nobody pays attention to me…"
And the doctor says, "Next please..."

8:00 9:00 LORRAINE BAILEY/FRED KRECKMAN
9:00 10:00 DALE RASMUSSEN/JOHN CARRINGTON
10:00 11:00 AUGIE GRIFFIN/BILL BROWN
11:00 12:00 JOHN WRIGHT/HARRY HUGHES
12:00 1:00 GENE RIGDON/AUSTIN MASON
1:00 2:00 DIANNA BENNETT/JASMINE BENNETT
2:00 3:00 DENNIS THIEL/BRUCE YOUNG
3:00 4:00 RICHARD YATES/JOE BELL
4:00 5:00 KATIE JOHNSON

Ecclesiastes 11:9 Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.

I've been taking all these philosophy courses, and we talk about what's true, what's important, what's good. Well, how do you teach people to be good? What's the point of knowing good if you don't keep trying to become a good person?

Don't be a TBA and submit your programs today!  Programs@pariskiwanis.org.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
- Just between you and me. Something smells.

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

To be completely honest with oneself is the very best effort a human being can make. -Sigmund Freud

Q. Where does a cat go when he loses his tail?
A. Retail store!

Jeremiah 29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

I visualize a time when we will be to robots what dogs are to humans, and I'm rooting for the machines. ~CLAUDE SHANNON
 

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot.
The robot clicked to attention and asked "Sir, what will you have?"  The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."  The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked "sir, what is your IQ?" The man answered "oh, about 164."  The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity,' 'interstellar space travel' 'the latest medical break through' etc.  The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tactic. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have?  'A Martini please.'
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?" This time the man answered "Oh about
100."  So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.  The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question "What is your IQ?" This time the man drawled out " Uh..... bout 50."  <>
<>The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, " A-r-e Y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e g-o-i-n-g t-o n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?

Daniel 10:12 Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words.

A young man who does not have what it takes to perform military service is not likely to have what it takes to make a living.
--John F. Kennedy--

A man steals paintings from a museum and gets a few blocks away, runs out of gas and the cops catch him. When asked what happened he replied..."I didn’t have enough Monet to pay for Degas to make the Van Gogh!!!!

Galatians 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.” ~ Groucho Marx

Honeybee license plates are purchase in advance this year, so get your's reserved early.

Get tickets sold for the "Kiwanis Comedy Night" - April 17th.  It will be a nice night of entertainment.

A reminder that Janine will be catering our meals as of April 1, 2009.  We will still meet at the Cafe France at our normal time.

Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?

Doctor: Absolutely nothing!

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4 (Read all of 1 Peter 3)

It takes faith to believe, and it takes courage not to, and who is to say which is the deeper and more truthful. ~ Herbert Weisinger

"It's tax time. I know this because I'm staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink."
-- Dave Barry

Tickets Prices below
$15/person $25/couple (Before 4/17/09)
$20/person $30/couple (Day of event)

Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?
— Psalm 85:6 (NIV)

Education does not mean teaching people to know what they don't know; it means teaching them to behave as they do not behave. - John Ruskin

Don't forget that we have an upcoming Anniversary Dinner, sign up, see you there.
Please be sure to inform "programs@pariskiwanis.org" of any upcoming programs, and don't be a TBA, like today!

A little boy returned from the grocery store with his mom. While his mom put away the groceries, the little boy opened his box of animal crackers and spread them all over the kitchen table.
"What are you doing?" asked his mom.
"The box says you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken," said the little boy. "I'm looking for the seal."

"And he made the porch of the throne where he was to judge, even the porch of judgment: and it was covered with cedar from floor to floor." - 1 Kings 7:7

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.

I want to thank Pete for getting me this information quickly at 5pm last night... Thanks Pete!

Election time is that period when politicians get free speech mixed up with cheap talk. - J. B. Kidd

Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. - Adlai Stevenson

Get race-program monies back to Dennis ASAP.

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules, "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. — Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

The follower of this path has one thought, and this is the End of his determination. But many-branched and endless are the thoughts of the man who lacks determination. - The Bhagavad Gita

Q. Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because he held up a pair of pants!

And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
— Romans 8:11 (NIV)

It takes faith to believe, and it takes courage not to, and who is to say which is the deeper and more truthful.  – Herbert Weisinger

Q: Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?

A: Never mind it's pointless.

— Psalm 141:3 —
Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.

All understanding begins in wonder. - Goethe

Pancake days are here.  We NEED your help to make this one as successful as the last.  Sign-up sheets are out, please sign-up early and often.

Notice the sign-up for "Autumn Fest" - The old "steak fry" this is our fun event of the year!

Thank you for a great year Linda, we all know how hard you work to keep our club going.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
— Ephesians 6:10 (NIV)

To be uncertain is uncomfortable, but to be certain is ridiculous. - Chinese proverb

Q. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A. It's pasture bed time (past your)

WHAT.

Today's Verse
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."
— Matthew 1:20 (NIV)

Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another; it is the only means.- Albert Einstein

Bell Ringers and Holiday in the Park Duty coming up.  Don't forget.

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors." The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics." No go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes." Unacceptable again!
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance. "Nuts and Butts?" No way. "Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go. "Loons and Moons?" Forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."
Everyone loved it.